I get it. In order to get your way you will hold your nose and roll around in the mud with the pigs. You’ve decided to sell your honor and any semblance of commitment to your alleged faith with hopes of getting the SCOTUS appointment you desperately want.
Stephen King wrote about this just about 40 years ago in the short story “Nona.” You embraced Drumpf like the I-guy in this story embraces a monster:
In the dream I see her walking toward me. She is wearing a white gown, almost transparent, and her expression is one of mingled desire and triumph. She comes to me across a dark room with a stone floor and I smell dry October roses. Her arms are held open and to her with mine out to enfold her.
I feel dread, revulsion, unutterable longing. Dread and revulsion because what this place is, longing because I love her.
This is you and he. The revulsion is real enough, but the desire for the control of others is pathological in its intensity, combined with your blind hatred his opponent, overcomes the revulsion. As it overcomes your professed alleged values.
I went to Nona. I went to my life.
Her arms reached around my neck and I pulled her against me. That was when she began to change, to ripple and run like wax. The great dark eyes became small and beady. The hair coarsened, went brown. The nose shortened, the nostrils dilated. Her body lumped and hunched against me.
I was being embraced by a rat.
“Do you love?” it squealed. “Do you love, do you love?”
Remember: If you kiss monster, it may eat you.
You chose this. Embrace it.