One day in front of a wall of stone, sitting at sunrise, the student asked the master, “Teacher, why do you speak thusly to me with stories, rather than address me directly?”

The master acknowledged the question with a raised eyebrow and together they contemplated the turning of morning into day as is their wont. When their master finally spoke, he said, “Why, I always speak to you in a way that you are the focus of all I say, no matter where we are relative to each other. It is simply a matter of squaring the material with reality and adding the distance that measure of what you are ignorant.”

As the sun began set upon the student and the teacher, the student said, “Ahh, so no matter where I am, you are always the same distance from me and the wall.”

“Which is why sometimes speak to the wall. It needs no explanation of math.”

President Jones runs a company (Fit-Ed) that sells five-year health and fitness programs as part of America’s “Get Fit and Save Money” initiative.  Each plan can be partially subsidized with federal grants based on family need.  There is even a federal loan program for those that don’t have adequate cash flow or financial discipline to afford the programs. Unfortunately, the Feds have put in place performance metrics requiring at least a 60% Program Completion rate to continue to allow customers of a given company to access the federal subsidies and loans.

At a recent meeting of the CEO and vice presidents:

“Folks, we are sucking wind. We have a 44% Program Completion Rate and no one can tell me why. We simply don’t have a market to exist without the subsidies. We need a solution.”

VP Operations: “Sir, what do you want us to do? We have optimized our recruiting as best we can, but our business model won’t support upgraded facilities with bigger pools, saunas, and all the luxuries.”

“What do you mean we’ve optimized recruiting the best we can?’

VP Operations: “It’s like this. Everyone wants fancy facilities, especially pools and saunas, and family water features. But the localities where we have boxes don’t have family incomes to support those things. We would need a larger population of wealthy families. And let’s face it, wealthy families are those that most likely to exercise and stick with a program. Poor people, well, they are just too busy being poor. Nearly 80% of our market is receiving the subsidies or loans.We’ve targeted recruitment as best we can, the wealthier population has a greater number of options and is more willing to travel to exercise.”

CIO: “You know, maybe this is a data problem. The metric is all wrong.”

CEO: “Tell me more.”

CIO: “Well, maybe our failures aren’t really failures. Maybe they just leave us for our competitors.”

CEO: “Sounds like a failure to me.”

CIO: “Is it? From a a business perspective, from our business perspective, it certainly is. But this federal program is about getting Americans fit. So does it really matter *where* that occurs as long as it happens? If we could find a way to track our customers, we could add those that go to other programs to the numerator and argue that it is a better, more complete measure of success.”

CEO: “Damn. I like that. Let’s make that happen.”

VP HR: “Sir, wouldn’t this be terribly misleading? Wouldn’t we be taking credit for another company’s success? After all, these clients left us.”

CEO: “I don’t give a rat’s ass. We need to survive. Besides, who’s to say we don’t deserve credit for the fact some of clients are more successful elsewhere.”

Yesterday I shot a 94 for 18 holes of golf. This is only notable because because it is the first time since starting to play this crazy game that I broke a 100.

Unfortunately, I can’t get too excited since it was a much shorter and easier course than my home course. Easier to the point that it actually caused my handicap index to trend back upwards four-tenths of stroke. Golf can suck like that.  You can do what feels to be really well, only to find out that what you did wasn’t nearly good enough, in fact, it wasn’t even up to your usual performance.

It was however good enough to outscore the guys I was playing with who generally outscore me. I don’t actually pay much attention to that, but they do. I’m focused on learning to play again and am playing against myself and the course. Everyone else is really incidental. My biggest problem with golf has always been the mental game.

Last weekend I had an 18-hole playing lesson with my instructor. My son was along as well. A 25-handicapper playing alongside a playing and teaching professional really is playing a different game. The opportunity for instruction on course management and to watch him play close up was invaluable. It was also a very intense four hours on a Saturday.

I’ve also a spent the last two weeks reading the first two of four books by Dr. Bob Rotella that I have inserted into my reading list. Grappling with impatience and the Luke Skywalker Problem:

Yoda: Ready are you? What know you of ready? For eight hundred years have I trained Jedi. My own counsel will I keep on who is to be trained. A Jedi must have the deepest commitment, the most serious mind. This one a long time have I watched. All his life has he looked away…to the future, to the horizon. Never his mind on where he was. Hmm? What he was doing. Hmph. Adventure. Heh. Excitement. Heh. A Jedi craves not these things. You are reckless.

Staying the moment. Moving on from the previous moment, especially when it was a failed shot. I’ve always had difficulty dumping the past. I think it is about time I learned.

In fact, that is pretty much what happened yesterday. Jay has done a tremendous job helping me build a repeating good swing. It’s not where we want it yet, but it is worlds different. So I was able to trust my swing and stay in the moment, because the failures were failures and almost always immediately understandable. “I screwed up. Move on.” Further, his method of instruction has not only helped me to accept the fact that bad shots will happen and I don’t need to beat myself up about it, but also to rely on routine to make things work.

So, good, positive teaching is priceless.

And raw numbers don’t always tell the truth. It’s difficult.

A long road trip is an amazing way to study your spousal relationship.  Even after 30 years of togetherness,  there can be so much difference on music tastes,  or styles of listening,  that the initial planning might possess a nightmarish tinge. Separate listening devices might be a necessity along with jointly approved audio material.

But 30 years is a long time. Over three decades there will be musical landmarks that won’t be easily forgotten.  For example, I won’t ever forget dancing with Melinda to “These Dreams” by Heart the first night we really met. “Desperadoes Waiting for a Train” will always be special sobe v it was the only song Zach would song along with (chorus only) until get got over his speech impediment. And, I am sure unsurprisingly to regular readers, Melinda and I will rock the hell out of a duet of “Paradise by the Dashboard Lights.”

There are also several songs by Harry Chapin beyond the three that made it on to the regular FM (a type of free radio broadcast) play lists. “I wanna learn a love song” is one of those.  “A better place to be” was a frequent, and likely inappropriate, bedtime song for the boys,  often followed by John Prine’s “Sam Stone,” Pete Seeger’s “Talking Ben Tre Blues,” Woody Guthrie’s “This Land is Your Land,” and “Ghost Riders in the Sky. ”

I love music and how it is intertwined through the events of my life. Our lives.  I remember when I first became aware of Prince.  His wasn’t the music I was most interested in, but I sure was impressed by how hauntingly beautiful it was.   Impressed also by what he wrote for others. I have memories of “When Doves Cry” and “Manic Monday” that are clear, specific,  and forever private.

Tomorrow is the last leg of this nearly 4000 miles of travel. It is time to put the audio books away as we did tonight and crank some tunes. It will be a range of tunes from the early sixties to now.  Love songs. Fighting songs. Anti-war songs.  Fornicating songs. Drinking songs. Novelty songs.  Story songs. Songs that defy categories because they just are.

Songs one of us loves and the other doesn’t care for. They will be sung, if not well, passionately.

She said, “I wanna learn a love song
Full of happy things”
She said, “I wannalearn a love song
Won’t you let me hear you sing?”

She said, “I wanna learn a love song
Wanna hear you play”
She said, “I, I wanna learn a love song
Before you go away”

– Harry Chapin

I have spent the last four days in casinos allowing my emotions to be manipulated. Modern video games are cleverly designed to pay on emotional needs/desires for wish fulfillment.  The promise is not money or credits, but the excitement of free spins or other game features. These game features may be simple point-and-win rewards, or they may be eye-grabbing videos to build up your anticipation of the free spins.

The promise of excitement is powerful and perhaps stronger than the allure of money. It allows us to be duped into believing we are entertained by the random spinning images. It creates and reinforces an illusion that there is a pattern to the game plays.  If we just hold on long enough,  we will finally get the big win.

It’s all very seductive.  It’s also very much like current political campaigns. The difference is that the slot machines try to excite and relax you simultaneously by raising your adrenaline and holding it at a level that keeps you susceptible to a promise of winning. You are lulled into a sense of anticipatory boredom waiting the big win.

Most people leave with less money than they enter with and leave vaguely happy expecting to win another time

Here’s a pro-tip: casinos exist to make money.  That only happens if customers lose more money than they win. Slot machines are designed and built to support this model.

Now,  about that comparison to politics….

(Do I really need to spell it out? )

It is sometimes difficult to write. Well, almost always.  Thoughts race about without discipline. They need to be corralled and tamed, at least a little.

This is part of the discipline.

When I drive.  Lots of thoughts occur to me.  Unfortunately they are to often fleeting like wild ponies. Especially wild ponies in the rolling troughs and hillocks of south central Oklahoma where it is so easy to hide from sight.

So the blog doesn’t get updated unless I sit and make myself write.

And this is another part of the discipline.

The same problems occur when planning a speaking. I rarely use a manuscript or notes. Instead I consider themes and ideas and try to hold fast to the ones that resonate.  If the circumstances dictate or allow,  those things get used.

Mostly though I have no idea what I will say until I say it, but am almost never surprised by what I say – only in how others receive it.

This is not discipline.

A kind of serious post.

Since Christmas, I have hit about 5,000 golf balls at the local range. I know this because my wife gave me 100 tokens for Christmas and they represent 45 balls each. I already had about 22 tokens at the time.

I have taken four lessons thus far, in my return to golf after 10 year layoff. These lessons are with the professional at the course we play. I think he is a pretty good teacher, definitely better than others I have had in the distant past. He is positive in his approach and has not tried to tear down my swing and rebuild it his way. Instead, he has suggested relatively minor changes that required only thinking about one or two things. Not “At A1 the club should like this, and at A6 the club should like this, etc.” Rather it has been “Think about bringing the club back slowly like this” while pulling the club in the desired arc.

Generally I like learning things on my own. The number of times I heard as a teenager, from people of all ages, “You can’t learn to fix a car from a book!” is one of the great uncountable things. Actually, one can learn how to fix a car or do a great many things by reading. I was almost always willing to give it a try…in fact I still do. I learned how to brew beer by reading. I learned how to code by reading.

Things are easier now. The immensity of knowledge on Youtube provides seemingly limitless opportunities to learn even some of the most unlikely things.

There is a also a service for $39/month that allows one to submit videos of your golf swing and receive critiques and recommended drills. This is somewhat cheaper than lessons and certainly offers a lot of flexibility in scheduling. The sample analysis places your video against a video of a professional golfers with audio and notes about what to try and achieve and how to achieve it. Here’s the kicker: the monthly rate is for four (4) video uploads and video responses of one swing each. From what I have read in golf forums, there is an underlying belief or assumption that there is very little difference between a swing that produces a good result and one that produces a bad result and that a generally a player’s swing is pretty consistent. It takes time, intention, and effort to make a swing change. I think this is all true, it was just hard to embrace right away.

I’m a bit on the older side and I like more immediate feedback. I also have a bias towards wanting a larger sample of data used in decisionmaking. An onsite lesson means my instructor observes me hitting 40-60 balls. Yes, the ball flight and all that goes with it is the ultimate feedback, but I have always been slow learner of physical things. When I look at pictures of the proper grip, ball position, swing path, I tend to have more questions than comprehension. Another example is this: feet should be comfortable shoulder-width apart. Really? How comfortable? Should the outside edge of my shoes align vertically with my shoulders or should my instep? What if both are comfortable?

Sure I can pick a position and swing away and then try other positions, but if other things are still wrong, such as swing path, it is still going to be a mess. So, I tend to need a instructor face-to-face.

Tonight I was at the range. I watched one Bro give another Bro (kind of a Lumbersexual Bro) a lesson. It was a bit pathetic. The Bro giving the lesson didn’t really understand the golf swing. His youth and athleticism let him hit the ball reasonably well most of the time but it was pretty much all arms and shoulders. And that’s what he was teaching his Bro. I suggested that they video each other and talk through the swing differences because what was emerging was a really ugly swing. Really ugly.

There are lot of ways to learn. Common to all of those that work well is quality instruction, regardless of delivery mode.

A final note. In 20 years, there has been a sea-change in understanding the golf swing and how to teach it. There has also a complete change in thinking about what it really takes to win at golf.  Well,  should say there has been a change in these things for those open to learning. Golf is pretty conservative (and boy do I have to say about that some time) and so real change is still hard.

…and unlike the US House of Representatives, I don’t believe in magic. Other than the magic of a really good song, a first kiss, and the ability of a story to transcend the now.

About 40 of my 54 years have been spent on or around a campus, or in higher ed administration. My earliest years were spent hanging around a college campus, sometimes even getting involved with faculty and students willing to talk with a six year old about birds. When I was 16, I started hanging out at my Dad’s college once again. I wasn’t quite as precocious and adorable, but I did like to talk to folks and listen to them.

The multi-faceted roles of faculty make them interesting people for anyone willing to take the time learn about their interests.

Some tenured faculty were paced and steady, as inexorable as a glacier. These were the ones everyone knew could be relied upon. They taught, they published, they served on committees.

A few were clearly just hanging around. These are the ones that the anti-tenure crowd claim to hate the most.

Some were the young hotshot rising stars. Making a name for themselves and working fiercely long after gaining tenure.

A few were climbers. The faculty rank was something to fall back on if things didn’t work out after learning they liked the taste of administration. Most were bright enough to wear a velvet glove. A small number  kept the steel fist shiny and in full view. And still they became presidents, if only briefly.

And of course, there were the curmudgeons. The ornery keepers of the flame that had staked out their territory at the institution. Sometimes their territory was the whole of the institution. These were the ones I liked best. Willing to take on any administrator, challenge any idea, in order to protect the core of the institution. They would accept new ideas when defended and presented well, but would do their best to destroy garbage ideas.

The fact is, not all ideas of presidents, vice presidents, deans, or even state officials, are good and worthy. Someone needs to be able to stand up to them without fear of summary reprisal when stupid comes to call.

If I can’t convince a tenured professor to work with me, I am either carrying a stupid idea or I don’t deserve my job. If I can’t take time to listen to the concerns of the professoriate I don’t deserve my job.

The tenured faculty are the core, a steadily shrinking core, of the college and maintains the values of the academy especially the search for knowledge,  and the sharing of that knowledge.

There are valid criticisms of individuals with tenure. Tenure is, as things of great value often are, expensive. It also looks to some as a free ride or a life-time of ease. So it becomes a target for those who claim to seek the efficiencies of something better. Unfortunately, I don’t think the tenured faculty are blameless. They could have done better policing their own ranks. They could do better fighting for improved treatment of adjuncts. I suspect though most choices are/were difficult ones.

Regardless, I believe in tenure and want to work with institutions where tenure is a real and living thing.

I am not he as you are he as the end is near
And we are all together, red, white, or blue hats
See how they run like pigs from a gun see the punches fly
I’m crying

Sitting at a Sonesta waiting for the van to come
Corporation tee shirt, stupid bloody Tuesday
Man you been a naughty boy. You let your face grow orange
I am the candidate, they are the losers
I am the walrus, orange face and white eyes

Mister rent-a-cop-man sitting, pretty little rentals in a row
See how they fly like hats in the sky, see how they run
I’m crying, I’m crying
I’m crying, I’m crying

Yellow matter custard dripping from a dead dog’s eye
Crabalocker fishwife pornographic priestess
Boy you been a naughty girl, you let your knickers down
I am the candidate, they are the losers
I am the walrus, goo goo g’ joob

Expert texpert choking smokers
Don’t you think the joker laughs at you? (Ho ho ho! He he he! Ha ha ha!)
See how they smile like pigs in a sty, see how they smiled
I’m crying

Some folks are born made to wave the flag
Ooh, they’re red, white and blue
And when the band plays “Hail to the chief”
Ooh, they point the finger at you, Lord
It ain’t me, it ain’t me, I ain’t no millionaire’s son, son
It ain’t me, it ain’t me; I ain’t no fortunate one, no

Yeah!
Some folks are born silver spoon in hand
Lord, don’t they help themselves, oh
But when the taxman comes to the door
Lord, the house looks like a rummage sale, yes

It ain’t me, it ain’t me, I ain’t no millionaire’s son, no
It ain’t me, it ain’t me; I ain’t no fortunate one, no

I ain’t got no politics
So don’t lay that rap on me
Left wing right wing up wing down
I see strip malls

It’s the bad cat white developer
Who’s created this whole damn squale
It’s the pyramid scheme of dirty jobs
And who’s gonna build your wall

Who’s gonna build your wall, boys
Who’s gonna maw your lawn
Who’s gonna cook your Mexican food
When your Mexican maid is gone

Who’s gonna wax your floors tonight
Down at the local mall
Who’s gonna wash your baby’s face
Who’s gonna build your wall

We’ve got fundamentalist muslims
We’ve got fundamentalist jew
We’ve got fundamentalist Christian
That’ll blow the whole thing up for you

But as I travel around this big ol’ world
There’s one thing that I most fear
It’s a white man in a golf shirt
With a cell phone in his ear

Hup two three four
Keep it up two three four
Hup two three four
Keep it up two three four
Company sound off!
Oh, the aim of our patrol
Is a question rather droll
For to march and drill
Over field and hillIs a military goal!
Is a military goal!
Hup two three four
Dress it up two three four
Hup two three four
Dress it up two three four
By the ranks or single file
Over every jungle mile
Oh we stamp and crush
Through the underbrush
In a military style!
In a military style!
Hup two three four
Keep it up two three four

“I am the Walrus” – The Beatles
“Fortunate Son” – Creedence Clearwater Revival
“Who’s Gonna Build Your Wall” – Tom Russell
“Colonel Hathi’s March” – Disney’s The Jungle Book